Would this be a good lineup of rock stars in hockey?

2009-03-13 11:34:51 UTC

Goaltender: Alice Cooper. He's from Detroit so he knows hockey, he seems crazy like a lot of goalies but is totally in control, and he looks like he already wears a mask.

Defensemen: This would be the rhythm section, bass and drums, and should be hard-hitting, yet provide the musical equivalent of passing the puck. I'd go for Led Zeppelin's pair of John Paul Jones and John Bonham, but Bonham's dead, so Kenny Aronoff, who's drummed for a whole slew of greats, including John Fogerty, who calls him "the greatest drummer in the universe." Kenny was also the drummer for most of the Bob Dylan tribute concert at Madison Square Garden in October 1992 and he slaughtered.

Center: Should be a playmaker rather than an obvious scorer, maybe a piano player. Billy Joel is familiar with the Ranger-Islander rivalry and has retired-number-style banners at both the Garden and the Coliseum, and his songs are often about other people rather than himself. Bruce Springsteen (though not a piano player) could play on a second line, and maybe do some checking as well, especially if he can have Clarence Clemons as a defenseman.

Left Wing: Should be a lefthander who likes his individual stats. Paul McCartney fits -- politically as well.

Right Wing: Should be a righthander who lights it up. Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, perhaps? I'd go with Ted Nugent, but I've already made one political joke here.

I realize I didn't choose a single Canadian. I suppose members of the Guess Who or Rush could be nominated, or perhaps the underrated April Wine. But, please, no Bryan Adams: Suggest him, and you get two minutes in the penalty box for liking awful music. And the guy from Five For Fighting is a fourth-liner at best.